A Year in The Life 9-11-01 9-11-02

By: K. McCor

It had started out like every other Tuesday morning. Like every other weekday morning whether he worked or not. She woke up at 6 am with the alarm and went to wake their children for school and work. Climbing back into the bed as her husband slid out of it. She couldn't remember if he had kissed her goodbye. He normally did, reawaking her . She would tell him to be careful and have a good day. He would tell her to drive safe to work and let her know what the weather was like. As he left, he would reset the alarm for her, and turn on Good Morning America. She would doze off and on listening to Charlie and Diane, greet the morning. He didn't make it out the front door before she was sound asleep again.

The phone awoke her next. Rolling across the bed eyes still closed and half asleep she mumbled into the phone, "Hello." "Mommy where is daddy ?" came the reply. Her daughter's voice startled her, she could hear the urgency in it. "Mommy where is daddy!" "What?" she replied, waking up a bit faster as her daughter continued to yell at her to put on the television. Rolling back over she glanced at the clock, it was 9:15 am; then to the television.

On the screen was the Twin Towers, and as she watched in horror, the top of Tower One exploded into flames as a plane crashed into it. She sat there stunned, Oh my God, oh my God she muttered, turning her attention back to her daughter her eyes never leaving the television screen. She assured her daughter that her father was ok, and that he was not there, at least not yet, and she would keep in touch with her. Hanging up the phone she sat there, dumbfounded watching the replay of the crash and listening to Charlie and Diane, praying that her husband wasn't there, when almost unbelievably the second tower was hit.

She got up quickly, leaving the television on upstairs in the bedroom and running down to the living room, turning on the bigger TV. Grabbing the phone, she went to the computer and tried to call her husband on the phone. Her ICQ lit up as her friends from England messaged her. Dialing the fire house she swore as she got a busy signal. Turning her attention to the computer she was greeted with, Are you ok ? How is your husband ? " I,, I think he's fine, she replied, I haven't heard from him yet, the tears starting to flow down her cheeks.

Her friend then proceeded to tell her a plane hit the pentagon. She suddenly had a chill as she stared at the computer screen, not believing what she was reading. They were being attacked. Getting up she went back into the living room as they announced that an airplane had just hit the Pentagon. Twice more she tried to reach her husband unsuccessfully. Walking back to the computer room she sat down tears running down her cheeks, as she asked her friend what was happening. Assuring her friend she was ok, she shut off the computer, trying her husbands cell phone, finally managing to get thru. He was fine. The fire house was in an uproar. They had no idea how many were dead, or hurt. He would be staying put since his house was first to respond to the airport. She could hear his voice cracking as he told her to say a prayer this was bad. Telling him again she loved him and him telling her, they hung up.

Grabbing her work clothes she got dressed in the living room in front of the television, her eyes never leaving the screen. Then, to her horror, Tower One collapsed in seconds, her tears fell freely as she thought of all those innocent people and her husbands friends, her friends from the fire dept who had just lost their lives. The Ringing of the phone brought her back to reality as she heard her brother in laws voice wanting to know where his brother was. She assured him he was fine, and for the time being he was not going in to the towers. A few minutes later they hung up. Quickly she called her in laws to let them know their son was safe. Then her own parents to tell them he was alive and safe.

Glancing at the clock she knew she had to call into work and let them know she would be in but she would be late. She couldn't leave the TV screen. They understood at work and told her to do what she had to do. Her sister called a few minutes later, and once again she broke out in tears as she assured her that her brother in law was fine. Her sister told her to call if she needed anything, Hanging up she just stood there watching the TV switch from the Towers to the Pentagon. talking about the hijackings and the ill fated flight outside Pittsburgh.

Unable to sit any longer she grabbed her jacket and left the house. It only took 10 minutes to reach work, and she stopped at the deli next door to pick up a large cup of tea, her nerves needed it. As she went to pay for the tea, the manager came running out of his office. "It's going," he yelled, "the second Tower is going." She quickly ran into the office, and watched in disbelief as the second majestic building crumbled in a large puff of smoke. To upset to say anything , feeling the tears stinging her eyes, she picked up her tea and left.

Walking into her office she was surrounded, asked about her husband, had she heard from him. Assuring them he was fine for the moment she went right to work trying to occupy her thoughts with anything but the towers. Her boss suggested she go home but she said no, she couldn't just sit home and wait, she was really better off at work. Twice more she tried to reach her husband unsuccessfully, putting her on edge. Each time the phone rang she held her breath, counting her blessings that it wasn't for her. When she least expected it, she was called to the phone. It was just after 1 pm and it felt like she had put in a full day already. Answering the phone she was assaulted with unintelligible garble. The only thing she new for sure was that it was one of her kids, with God's grace, one of their kids.

A calm came over her and a strength she didn't know existed within. "Stop crying" she stated softly, but firmly into the phone. " Stop crying and take a deep breath." She could hear them letting it out slowly." O.K. take another deep breath" she instructed as she heard the breathing over the receiver, she calmly stated "your Father is ok, he's alive and he is not there. "

"Oh mommy," she heard her second daughters voice falter. She wanted to reach through the phone and hold her daughter close. She was only four hours away but at this moment four houses was too long. Her daughter explained how some of the counselors and teachers had come to class rooms not telling them what was wrong but anyone from New York should call home. She explained to her daughter everything she new. Assured her that she had spoken to her father several times and he was fine. Promising to call her after work she told her daughter she loved her, and be careful . Then they hung up.

Work seemed to drag on endlessly, constant reports from the radio, patients canceling appointments and a deep sense of loss, for whom she could not say but she knew they were gone. Home later that day she gathered their children around her assuring them their father was fine. There were two messages on the answering machine from friends checking on him, checking on her. Even though he was safe it still took several hours to call them back, to tell them he was fine and how much it meant to both of them that they called.

Her hopes raised along with the rest of the world several times when a possible survivor was found only to be dashed later on as a hoax. It was hard to believe so many hundreds of lives and not one survivor as it turned to evening. That night in bed, their bed seemed twice as big, twice as empty. She had spent a large part of 23 years alone at night while he worked, but tonight was different. Even though she knew he was safe, someone, somewhere was missing a husband, a wife, a father, a mother, a son, daughter, brother or sister.

She awoke the next morning once again taking her time to get ready for work. Her eyes filling with tears as she watched her beautiful skyline crumble as the news replayed the towers fall over and over again.

Her husband called that morning letting her know he didn't know when he would be home again, he and the others were heading into the city to relieve other workers. He told her who was missing that she also knew, some she didn't, and told her to keep them and their families in her prayers. I love you she whispered, please be careful, please.

It was another long day at work the only thing on the radio was about the terrorist and who was behind it. Digging was nonstop at "Ground Zero" the atmosphere at work was sullen as they listened to the radio, praying for survivors. They day dragged on and no survivors. Her day was almost over, only 4 more hours to go when a co-worker's daughter came in all excited that another building was going to collapse. They were trying to clear out all the workers. She leaned against the wall, closing her eyes for a moment, praying for her husband. The color drained out of her face when one of her co-workers told her it was ok, trying to assure her, that her husband was safe, and to call him at work. She looked across the room at the phone. She couldn't move. She just stared at her girlfriend. I, I, cant, once again her eyes filled with tears she felt like such a baby, but she couldn't help it. Her girlfriend dialed the firehouse, handing her the phone. The voice on the other end sounded familiar but she couldn't place it. The fireman recognized her voice, telling her, that her husband was still in the city, but he was fine and he promised to have him call when he got back to the house.

He called her a short time later from his cell phone, assuring her he was fine. They were working 12 hour shifts, he was in no danger and would speak to her soon. He came home 3 days later, he was hugged and he was kissed and she didn't want to let go of him, but he was different, he was changed. He was still in a state of shock. She couldn't pinpoint it but he was not the same man who had left 4 days earlier for work.

Her sister and brother in law came over to chat with him and for a drink, and in a sense celebrate his living. For the first time in their marriage she didn't argue with him, what ever he asked for she did. Yes dear became a major part of her vocabulary. Once or twice she would overhear him on the phone with his friends or on the steps with his dad, telling him about what they were doing, what they were finding.. They hadn't found any live bodies and he didn't think they would, everything was dust, but they were finding body parts, and hopefully that would help some poor family, come to terms with their loss. They wore masks because the smell was overwhelming at times, but that smell let them know they had found someone or some part.

He told of how they would lay in the rubble so the rescue dogs could find them. How after several days of not finding anyone you could see the affects on the dogs. They became sullen and pep or vigor, so they would play victim for the dogs mental health as well as their own mental health. A feeling unable to describe, but he was happy to find you, and you felt that joy also amongst the rubble and ruin. When there was nothing to smile about, man's best friend never left their side.

Things seemed to be returning back to normalcy. She often wondered though would anything ever be normal again? He worked at Ground Zero for a month straight. One day he came home and said he was going to the landfill to sift for body parts. She stayed calm asking him if it was such a good idea. Couldn't he stay at Ground Zero or return to his own firehouse? She didn't like the idea of him there. She was afraid for his health, his mental well being. afraid he might find his friends, afraid he might snap. His personality had already changed over the past few months, he was jaded, he was short tempered, she loved him but hated the man he was becoming. She started to wonder about wives of soldiers, from Viet Nam and any other previously fought war. Did they go through something similar? Did they feel lost and unable to help their husbands? But there was a difference, Her husband was a fireman, he protected and saved lives. He wasn't at war, but mentally he was at war with an invisible enemy.

Much to her relief he didn't stay at the landfill. It was just more than he could handle. Unbeknownst to her, he realized it and he made the decision not to go back. Things slowly returned to normal, as normal as could be. He went back to Ground Zero and worked many long hours, through all kinds of weather. He would not stop untill they had recovered their fallen brothers.

Within the course of the year they recovered his friends body, Ground Zero was cleaned up and plans were being made to do something special at the site, in remembrance of all the innocent people who had lost their lives. The search still goes on for Osama Bin Ladden .

Her husband transferred out of his house and into his late friend's house, something his friend had wanted him to do the past couple of years. He regretted he had never moved sooner, but selfishly he might no longer had been with his family. They had memorial services a year later and when it was time for their contract and raises, the city once again cried poverty. He looks forward to retirement. He now spoke about seriously making plans for the future.

Her life continues, she has her family to contend with, and in some ways a new husband she has to learned to live with. She will be forever thankful that her husband lived, and forever fearful that it could happen again.